Hello Friends, I’m your host Dr. Dave Laton and thank you for joining me in Our Journey to Hope.
It is my desire through this podcast to bring you information about how to discover, sustain, or perhaps regain hope.
I like finding connections between different concepts. Sometimes these connections are obvious. And sometimes they may not be easily seen.
In this episode I want to look at the connection between forgiveness and hope. I see these two as deeply intertwined. We’ll look at both concepts independently and then how they are connected. Let’s begin by exploring what forgiveness is and is not.
Forgiveness is the deliberate choice we make to move beyond feelings of resentment or anger. It puts aside the desire for vengeance toward someone we think or has wronged us in some way.
It is a mental and emotional release of bitterness. It is a conscious choice to move beyond the hurt and to stop seeking retribution. It is not immediate, but we commit to moving away from it and towards full forgiveness.
As a result, forgiveness allows you to begin true healing of the heart.
We might be amazed when we hear of someone forgiving someone else. Perhaps you are thinking of the recent tragedy of the assignation of Charlie Kirk and the public statement of forgiveness by his widow, Erica Kirk. It was an emotionally moving event. Many would not blame her for harboring resentment, hate, and a desire for revenge against his killer.
Some feel they cannot forgive because they are not able to forget about the wrong they’ve experienced. This might stem from a misunderstanding about the relationship of forgiving and forgetting. But forgetting does not necessarily mean you’ve wiped it from your consciousness or excused the act. I might not even mean to be reconciled fully with the person. It simply means you are not holding it against the person in such a way that it continues to foster negative feelings towards them. Obviously, this is not easy, especially if the wrong was intensely personal or against another you cared for deeply.
Forgiveness is important to our relationship with God.
God demonstrates forgiveness to us when we turn to him as his children and confess our wrong and seek His forgiveness. That is at the heart of one of my most favorite passages in Scripture, 1 John 1:5-9. Verse 9 states, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. This is one of the most hope filled verses in scripture and is part of why I’m speaking about hope and forgiveness together. As we’ll see, they are indeed tightly intertwined to form a rope upon which we can hold on to.
In Matthew 6:12-15 we see forgiveness plays a central role in our relationship with God. In this passage known as the “Lord’s Prayer” by many, Jesus is teaching us how to pray. In the midst of this prayer, he states that we are to forgive those that have wronged us (some versions say trespasses or debtors) as God has forgiven us. Then we see the emphasis our Lord places on this as he expands on the teaching. He tells us that if we don’t forgive others, then how can we expect God to forgive us.
In Matthew 18 Jesus tells a very disturbing parable for those unwilling to forgive. We know it as the parable of the unmerciful or unforgiving servant. By the way, note that this parable comes right after another remarkable teaching about forgiving. Jesus uses the expression to forgive not seven times, but 77 times showing the complete nature of forgiving.
In this parable, a king wanted to settle an account with one of his servants. The servant owned a huge sum of money that was virtually impossible to repay. At first the king ordered the servant and his family to be sold to repay the debt. The servant begs the king for forgiveness. Remarkably, the king is moved by compassion and forgives the entire debt and releases him. That is what we want from God and find as we are faithful to him. But the story doesn’t stop there.
After the servant leaves, he comes across another servant who owed him an infinitely smaller amount. Rather than having compassion on the fellow servant as he was shown for a huge debt, he has the servant thrown in prison until the debt is paid. Other servants heard the interchange and reported it to the King. The King becomes angry and has the unmerciful servant thrown into prison until he could pay his debt. Since the debt was such a huge amount, it was virtually a life sentence.
Jesus completes this parable with a stern warning about forgiving. He says so God will do to those unwilling to forgive others.
There are many teachings on forgiveness in scripture but one last example on this point. In Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus also teaches us that if someone has something against us, we are to settle the issue before coming to God. God will not look favorably upon us unless we make the effort. And this, by implication, includes forgiving. He includes in this teaching language about a judge placing us in prison thus linking it to His other teachings on forgiveness. I enjoy finding these connections throughout scripture.
Let’s look now at hope.
Hope is described as confident assurance of something. The more confidence we have in something, the greater our hope.
We often discussed in this podcast that there are basically two kinds of hope. One is almost wishful thinking. We want something to happen or not happen. There is nothing wrong with this by itself. We often use hope in this context.
The other is eternal and lasting hope. It is confident assurance that God will be faithful to His promise.
For a more detailed discussion on this, I refer you to episodes 1 and 137.
Let’s put the two concepts of forgiveness and hope together.
Both forgiveness and hope are future looking concepts. Although forgiveness recalls the past, it moves beyond the past, and perhaps the current situation and looks forward to the future.
So too does hope. Hope is formed based on our view of the past, our current situation, and the possibility of a future.
By releasing us of our past, we are released from the chains that hold us back. Forgiveness opens the door to the possibility of healing by allowing us to move into the future.
Hope has a role to play in forgiveness. It can be seen as fuel for forgiveness. A friend of mine, Doug Fleener refers to it as reframing. This means we change the way we view something. Instead of looking at it as something to hold us back, forgiveness lets us look into the future. He talks about this as asking the question, “What if?” What if we forgave the person? What if we rebuilt the relationship through our forgiveness?
By the way, that episode is number 143. I strongly recommend you listen to this fascinating conversation.
Forgiveness throws open the door to remarkable spiritual growth. We turn loose of the negative and embrace the positive energy of the future.
This relationship of hope and forgiveness is a dynamic and unending relationship if we allow it. It is a conscious choice. We choose to forgive, we choose to move on. We choose to embrace endless opportunity.
All of us have things we need forgiveness for. And we all have opportunity to express forgiveness to others.
Friends, thank you for joining me as together we journey to hope. I trust in some small way we have encouraged you to discover, sustain, or regain hope through this effort.
I invite you to contact me if you have questions or comments, or if you wish to share with me something you’ve experienced in your journey to hope. My email is info@ourjourneytohope.com.
And please, share this podcast with someone whose hope is being challenged.
I look forward to sharing more with you soon. Again, I'm Dr. Dave Laton, and thank you for listening. And until our next episode, remember, we give all glory to God our Father.
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